Rage Against the Machine

If you read previous posts, and better yet, if you follow me on Facebook, you’ll know that I suffer from a never-ending internal conflict of ideas. One reason I could never run for offices is that I am a flip-flopper. I do not do so easily though and one of my resentments of politicians comes from the fact that so many of them seem to be stuck in one mindset. If you’ve decided exactly where you stand – either far right or far left, I think there’s something highly flawed with your thinking.

I’m a political atheist – true social scientists know that theories can never be tested in a lab and therefore theory can’t be proven prior to implementation. Convictions are for criminals and maybe those politicians who have them are criminals.

I do tend to side with the little guy, the individual against the state but those freedoms must also have a natural limit to protect the state as a whole. To sum up my feelings, if you build walls around your community to keep out the poor, you limit your own freedoms and you can never really build walls high enough to keep everyone out anyone. It is the same paradox that we see in International Security.

However, I have my reservations due to constant thought and reflection. I think one way is right but as a believer in democracy I also feel that people have the right to disagree with me. I suppose I truly hope that through education and enlightenment people can come to the understanding that the benevolent state is the desirable state. I’ve rarely met truly deep thinkers on the right. Most often those I’ve met on the right aren’t very deep thinkers at all and bare some resentment of other people for some reason or another.

However, I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say I didn’t hold some resentment myself. I resent people who place things and money above experience and the prosperity of others. I loathe hoarders of wealth. Sorry. I just do.

But I also feel that it’s true that wealth motivates people to a large degree. Whether that’s a result of our culture, advertising, society’s expectations, religious tradition, etc., is a deeper question. The fact is, in our Western culture people are generally motivated by self-interest rather than altruism. Perhaps that’s changing but I see as many young people who don’t seem to get it as I do old, at least on a sliding scale based on the general truism that people seem to become more conservative as they get older. Maybe that just goes with the cynicism of age?

Recently I seem to have gone back to the feelings and thoughts I had in my 20’s when I dropped out of University. I’m raging. I’m fighting. I’m reading Noam Chomsky and I’m not sure what lies ahead and whether I want to be part of the system that continues to ignore so many of our social ills. I know one thing for sure: I am angered by those who seem to not care about those less able to care for themselves. I don’t see eye-to-eye with those that believe less government or lower taxes is necessarily better. Perhaps that’s a result of some self-doubt that has crept into my thinking of late due to months of single-hood and unemployment.

Having worked in politics I also know that politics is the art of the possible. In our democratic society, government works on a consensus model. In Canada we have consensus on a seesaw whereas in Germany, Israel, Italy and so many other nations it works on an ongoing consensus model. Big business in North America though often seems unwilling to give up the reigns of power. I think that’s what so enrages conservatives about local government, which often is more in-touch with the day-to-day desires of citizens. The lack of party structure at City Halls means that Councillors are a bit more beholden to the desires of the people, rather than big lobby.

This is a bit of a rambling post I admit. I felt it necessary to put down some thoughts though in light of a conversation I’ve had on Twitter with a blogger who seems to have some similar leanings and thoughts – if less anger.

I guess what intrigues me most is that so many political scientists are ignored. I rarely met a hard-right professor at University and I attended one of the most right wing Universities in Canada. Economic professors are another question generally. However, that may simply be a result of their constant use of the phrase “all things being equal” which excludes any factor that doesn’t fit within a model. Political Science is somewhat more encompassing than economics since it factors in those things that are rarely equal – like people who can’t pay the ‘equilibrium’ price.

I am fairly academic it seems though my University marks, at least in the early years, probably would not reflect that. I often wonder though if that wasn’t a result of both my immaturity in the early years or the fact that I have too many of my own opinions or that I’m simply poor at writing essays and exams to a professors expectations. I imagine I’d do much better if I went back to University now simply due to a better understanding of myself, the system and my own abilities and interests. And maybe that’s where my future lies – with more big fat loans and debts and an uncertain future.

I guess what this blog post is about is my ongoing search for a sense of belonging, meaning and purpose. I’m Raging Against the Machine right now. I’ve seen too many good ideas passed up by political posturing. I’ve met too many people who don’t fit into the box that our society needs people to fit into. I’ve seen suffering. I’ve also seen too many stupid comments by people borne of ignorance, fear and hatred. I’ve lived in a time where the gap between rich and poor has grown to a size not seen since the Gilded Age of robber barons and corporate collusion.

Our country is at war and has been 8 years – my entire 30’s to date. We see lots of peace and prosperity around the world but we’ve also witnessed natural disasters that are being increasingly caused by global warming and/or enhanced in severity due to the poverty endured by those who are hit.

How do I make a difference? What is my purpose? Why am I here?