Or maybe I should just get on with my life and get a job that I can do to pay bills and get some more enjoyment out of life while working on small local political projects on the side and stop worrying about telling everyone my ideas about ‘the truth?’ I’ve seen a job posting in London that excites me – as a Client Relations type at a small web development firm that has a strong Corporate Social Responsibility angle. This would enable me to use my various communications and relationship building skills while also allowing me to work to build a better community here in London.
A job outside politics perhaps? Please. ☺
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Rage Against the Machine
If you read previous posts, and better yet, if you follow me on Facebook, you’ll know that I suffer from a never-ending internal conflict of ideas. One reason I could never run for offices is that I am a flip-flopper. I do not do so easily though and one of my resentments of politicians comes from the fact that so many of them seem to be stuck in one mindset. If you’ve decided exactly where you stand – either far right or far left, I think there’s something highly flawed with your thinking.
I’m a political atheist – true social scientists know that theories can never be tested in a lab and therefore theory can’t be proven prior to implementation. Convictions are for criminals and maybe those politicians who have them are criminals.
I do tend to side with the little guy, the individual against the state but those freedoms must also have a natural limit to protect the state as a whole. To sum up my feelings, if you build walls around your community to keep out the poor, you limit your own freedoms and you can never really build walls high enough to keep everyone out anyone. It is the same paradox that we see in International Security.
However, I have my reservations due to constant thought and reflection. I think one way is right but as a believer in democracy I also feel that people have the right to disagree with me. I suppose I truly hope that through education and enlightenment people can come to the understanding that the benevolent state is the desirable state. I’ve rarely met truly deep thinkers on the right. Most often those I’ve met on the right aren’t very deep thinkers at all and bare some resentment of other people for some reason or another.
However, I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say I didn’t hold some resentment myself. I resent people who place things and money above experience and the prosperity of others. I loathe hoarders of wealth. Sorry. I just do.
But I also feel that it’s true that wealth motivates people to a large degree. Whether that’s a result of our culture, advertising, society’s expectations, religious tradition, etc., is a deeper question. The fact is, in our Western culture people are generally motivated by self-interest rather than altruism. Perhaps that’s changing but I see as many young people who don’t seem to get it as I do old, at least on a sliding scale based on the general truism that people seem to become more conservative as they get older. Maybe that just goes with the cynicism of age?
Recently I seem to have gone back to the feelings and thoughts I had in my 20’s when I dropped out of University. I’m raging. I’m fighting. I’m reading Noam Chomsky and I’m not sure what lies ahead and whether I want to be part of the system that continues to ignore so many of our social ills. I know one thing for sure: I am angered by those who seem to not care about those less able to care for themselves. I don’t see eye-to-eye with those that believe less government or lower taxes is necessarily better. Perhaps that’s a result of some self-doubt that has crept into my thinking of late due to months of single-hood and unemployment.
Having worked in politics I also know that politics is the art of the possible. In our democratic society, government works on a consensus model. In Canada we have consensus on a seesaw whereas in Germany, Israel, Italy and so many other nations it works on an ongoing consensus model. Big business in North America though often seems unwilling to give up the reigns of power. I think that’s what so enrages conservatives about local government, which often is more in-touch with the day-to-day desires of citizens. The lack of party structure at City Halls means that Councillors are a bit more beholden to the desires of the people, rather than big lobby.
This is a bit of a rambling post I admit. I felt it necessary to put down some thoughts though in light of a conversation I’ve had on Twitter with a blogger who seems to have some similar leanings and thoughts – if less anger.
I guess what intrigues me most is that so many political scientists are ignored. I rarely met a hard-right professor at University and I attended one of the most right wing Universities in Canada. Economic professors are another question generally. However, that may simply be a result of their constant use of the phrase “all things being equal” which excludes any factor that doesn’t fit within a model. Political Science is somewhat more encompassing than economics since it factors in those things that are rarely equal – like people who can’t pay the ‘equilibrium’ price.
I am fairly academic it seems though my University marks, at least in the early years, probably would not reflect that. I often wonder though if that wasn’t a result of both my immaturity in the early years or the fact that I have too many of my own opinions or that I’m simply poor at writing essays and exams to a professors expectations. I imagine I’d do much better if I went back to University now simply due to a better understanding of myself, the system and my own abilities and interests. And maybe that’s where my future lies – with more big fat loans and debts and an uncertain future.
I guess what this blog post is about is my ongoing search for a sense of belonging, meaning and purpose. I’m Raging Against the Machine right now. I’ve seen too many good ideas passed up by political posturing. I’ve met too many people who don’t fit into the box that our society needs people to fit into. I’ve seen suffering. I’ve also seen too many stupid comments by people borne of ignorance, fear and hatred. I’ve lived in a time where the gap between rich and poor has grown to a size not seen since the Gilded Age of robber barons and corporate collusion.
Our country is at war and has been 8 years – my entire 30’s to date. We see lots of peace and prosperity around the world but we’ve also witnessed natural disasters that are being increasingly caused by global warming and/or enhanced in severity due to the poverty endured by those who are hit.
How do I make a difference? What is my purpose? Why am I here?
I’m a political atheist – true social scientists know that theories can never be tested in a lab and therefore theory can’t be proven prior to implementation. Convictions are for criminals and maybe those politicians who have them are criminals.
I do tend to side with the little guy, the individual against the state but those freedoms must also have a natural limit to protect the state as a whole. To sum up my feelings, if you build walls around your community to keep out the poor, you limit your own freedoms and you can never really build walls high enough to keep everyone out anyone. It is the same paradox that we see in International Security.
However, I have my reservations due to constant thought and reflection. I think one way is right but as a believer in democracy I also feel that people have the right to disagree with me. I suppose I truly hope that through education and enlightenment people can come to the understanding that the benevolent state is the desirable state. I’ve rarely met truly deep thinkers on the right. Most often those I’ve met on the right aren’t very deep thinkers at all and bare some resentment of other people for some reason or another.
However, I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say I didn’t hold some resentment myself. I resent people who place things and money above experience and the prosperity of others. I loathe hoarders of wealth. Sorry. I just do.
But I also feel that it’s true that wealth motivates people to a large degree. Whether that’s a result of our culture, advertising, society’s expectations, religious tradition, etc., is a deeper question. The fact is, in our Western culture people are generally motivated by self-interest rather than altruism. Perhaps that’s changing but I see as many young people who don’t seem to get it as I do old, at least on a sliding scale based on the general truism that people seem to become more conservative as they get older. Maybe that just goes with the cynicism of age?
Recently I seem to have gone back to the feelings and thoughts I had in my 20’s when I dropped out of University. I’m raging. I’m fighting. I’m reading Noam Chomsky and I’m not sure what lies ahead and whether I want to be part of the system that continues to ignore so many of our social ills. I know one thing for sure: I am angered by those who seem to not care about those less able to care for themselves. I don’t see eye-to-eye with those that believe less government or lower taxes is necessarily better. Perhaps that’s a result of some self-doubt that has crept into my thinking of late due to months of single-hood and unemployment.
Having worked in politics I also know that politics is the art of the possible. In our democratic society, government works on a consensus model. In Canada we have consensus on a seesaw whereas in Germany, Israel, Italy and so many other nations it works on an ongoing consensus model. Big business in North America though often seems unwilling to give up the reigns of power. I think that’s what so enrages conservatives about local government, which often is more in-touch with the day-to-day desires of citizens. The lack of party structure at City Halls means that Councillors are a bit more beholden to the desires of the people, rather than big lobby.
This is a bit of a rambling post I admit. I felt it necessary to put down some thoughts though in light of a conversation I’ve had on Twitter with a blogger who seems to have some similar leanings and thoughts – if less anger.
I guess what intrigues me most is that so many political scientists are ignored. I rarely met a hard-right professor at University and I attended one of the most right wing Universities in Canada. Economic professors are another question generally. However, that may simply be a result of their constant use of the phrase “all things being equal” which excludes any factor that doesn’t fit within a model. Political Science is somewhat more encompassing than economics since it factors in those things that are rarely equal – like people who can’t pay the ‘equilibrium’ price.
I am fairly academic it seems though my University marks, at least in the early years, probably would not reflect that. I often wonder though if that wasn’t a result of both my immaturity in the early years or the fact that I have too many of my own opinions or that I’m simply poor at writing essays and exams to a professors expectations. I imagine I’d do much better if I went back to University now simply due to a better understanding of myself, the system and my own abilities and interests. And maybe that’s where my future lies – with more big fat loans and debts and an uncertain future.
I guess what this blog post is about is my ongoing search for a sense of belonging, meaning and purpose. I’m Raging Against the Machine right now. I’ve seen too many good ideas passed up by political posturing. I’ve met too many people who don’t fit into the box that our society needs people to fit into. I’ve seen suffering. I’ve also seen too many stupid comments by people borne of ignorance, fear and hatred. I’ve lived in a time where the gap between rich and poor has grown to a size not seen since the Gilded Age of robber barons and corporate collusion.
Our country is at war and has been 8 years – my entire 30’s to date. We see lots of peace and prosperity around the world but we’ve also witnessed natural disasters that are being increasingly caused by global warming and/or enhanced in severity due to the poverty endured by those who are hit.
How do I make a difference? What is my purpose? Why am I here?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tweeting Your Campaign
I've had a few thoughts as we get into Municipal silly season. David Plouffe’s book about Obama’s campaign has recently hit the shelves (I must get it as soon as possible as any campaign addict must.) President Obama’s campaign famously used social media, e-mails and text messages to motivate volunteers and ultimately to win the Presidency. However, from most of the news I recall seeing right after the 2008 Presidential election, one might not want to believe all the hype.
It’s certain that the Obama campaign used social media to energize volunteers and to coordinate the message. However polls appear to reveal when it came to Election Day many of the same voters came out as in previous elections. There was no mass movement of youth to the polls. Swing voters, tired of 8 years of Republican complacency, a drawn-out War on Terror and the lies that motivated it, apathy about John McCain and rejection of Sarah Palin by mainstream America are what in the end, gave Obama the victory. Many have said that a turnip could have won the election as the Democratic Candidate.
However, this is not to dismiss the role of social media in spreading the message of hope that accompanied President Obama’s campaign. Youth were clearly motivated to knock on doors. A cynical American public, disenfranchised from a government whose approval ratings are awful, often refuse to listen to those with the hope of youth in their eyes. However Obama may have over-reached in many of his concrete proposals for reform, of health care, of the tax-code, of the military’s don’t ask don’t tell policy, of the kind of capitalism that has created the largest economic divide since the Gilded Age, the campaign certainly used new media to get their message out.
Texts and e-mails sent from the campaign, many of which I received having signed up for them, constantly encouraged young Americans to take their country back. But there was also an important distinction that candidates and their campaign managers are wise to regard.
A tweet is a 140-character message broadcast to those that are following you. The Tweeting public, while large and growing, is clearly not the majority of people, nor the majority of motivated voters. That’s important to remember. It’s also important to note that most of the tweets from the Obama campaign, as well as the e-mails, led the recipient to a website with concrete policy positions spelled out in a fair degree of detail.
Looking at Toronto’s early municipal election campaign we can note a couple of divergent uses. While it’s early on, there are a number of early favoured candidates. Each have their own style and it’s interesting to note the differences.
Rocco Rossi appears to get it. George Smitherman is taking some time to eek out his positions but is certainly keeping us in the loop as to his daily activities. That’s good too. I feel for Sarah Thomson, who so far is the sole female candidate to have declared to run for Mayor. However, I have some criticism of her early tweeting. I’d include Stephen Feek but he appears unprepared; earlier this week he posted a link to his Twitter account where he announced that his campaign would start on February 1st. In Tweetspeak; Fail. Not a FTW (For the Win) move for someone with no name recognition. Candidates should be prepared to come out of the gate running the minute they announce they are running for Mayor, particularly those candidates that will not get mainstream coverage easily.
Giorgio Mammoliti has gotten some good press so far but that comes easily to a sitting City Councillor with a record of having lots to say, good or bad. His online profile is non-existent.
There are likely to be others. Other would-be candidates are either continuing a well-run and deep understanding of Twitter and Facebook – Adam Giambrone comes to mind here as a Councillor that has been using both mediums to his advantage for some time. I’d love to go on but to date that’s the limit of candidates using Twitter.
Speculation has it that Joe Pantalone and perhaps Shelley Carroll. Carroll is a sporadic Twitter user at best and while I love her as a person, she faces a tough challenge as Mayor Miller’s Budget Chief.
We have lots of talk so far about who will run and who won’t and only 11 declared candidates. That number will surely swell to 30-odd by September.
In such a wide-open race, which the media almost always narrows down to 2 front-runners, plus 3 second-tier candidates and 30-odd also-rans, the use of social media can be a powerful tool. But it also has its downfalls and shortcomings.
First, the 140-character message is much too short for anything other than bluster and rhetoric. If voters, even savvy online followers can’t dig deeper, the use of social media, in my opinion, can turn voters and potential advocates (Re-Tweeters) off.
Let’s first take the example of Sarah Thomson. Something tells me I may be discussing her campaign to a fairly high degree over the next few months. So let’s get one thing out of the way. I support more female representation in politics. However, just as no ‘gay’ candidate should be considered only on that basis, a woman candidate ought not to be considered simply because she is a female candidate. I think that’s playing a gender card that’s undeserved.
Today, one of her Tweets infuriated me to a degree. It said: “Reading city budget reports, blood boiling over the waste and audacity of our bureaucrats.” For a number of reasons I take issue with this Tweet.
First, there was no link to anything beyond that simple message. There was no link to the Budget report she was reading (they’re all available online.) Without any kind of context, the reader is supposed to just take at face value that there are reasons to be angry, that bureaucrats are audacious and waste taxpayer money. That’s easy enough to believe but is it true? No one likes taxes and everyone hates government waste and many assume that most tax dollars are wasted because there have been stories in the past about cases of waste. However, there have also been studies that show the City of Toronto is actually very efficiently run and simply faces a structural deficit.
So, this message is in essence an attempt to say – I’m angry as hell and I’m not going to take it any more. Why we’re supposed to be angry is not important, we just should be. Had there been some explanation of why Mrs. Thomson is angry, the rational reader might say, yes, you’ve uncovered some waste and audacity and I damn well agree with you. Instead, we’re left with populist rhetoric.
Mrs. Thomson doesn’t yet have a website – outside of her Woman’s Post blog (I’ll get to that in a minute) so there is no deeper explanation available. Is it waste because of unnecessary spending? Overstaffing? Inappropriate programming? Why? What is the waste? Is this a provincially mandated program or is it a discretionary program (the vast majority of City programs are provincially mandated.) If I don’t understand the underlying reasons why Ms. Thomson believes its waste or what in fact she believes at all. Where do you want to take our City? (I say our because other than the last 4 months, Toronto has been my home since 1998.)
I have not decided yet whom I will vote for but this kind of rhetoric turns me off. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Rob Ford constantly complains about City waste but rarely identifies any of it at Budget time.
If I look at Rocco Rossi’s use of Twitter and Facebook, I at least get a sense of where he’s heading. Rocco includes links to larger articles, asks readers to give feedback on his positions and has already put forward some concrete proposals.
Smitherman hasn’t said much of a concrete nature but I also know that he worked for Barbara Hall when she was Mayor of Toronto. I know he was frustrated during last year’s Municipal workers strike and organized litter clean-up events. He’s held office in Dalton McGuinty’s government and yes, he must dig out from under the eHealth scandal and shed the image of ‘Furious George.’ I’ve met George and he’s a nice guy. But he also gets stuff done and is the kind of personality needed for a Mayoral office in Toronto.
Similarly, Adam Giambrone is using Twitter and Facebook very well. We’ve always known where he is/was and he constantly posts about policy issues. While it tends to be light, his use of both mediums has always been democratic and open – lots of debate and even insults which are rarely removed. If you’re asking for openness and transparency, Adam pretty much puts it out there with his online presence.
I said I’d get back to Thomson’s use of her Woman’s Post page. My concern is that this corporate site is financially supported by Woman’s Post that Thomson (of that Thompson, the rich family) owns. As such, its use to promote her campaign amounts to a contravention of City Council’s ban on corporate donations to candidates. I believe this is a pretty clear, cut-and-dry case. There’s no mistaking it really – she has already suggested that people visit her site from her ThomsonforMayor Twitter account.
To be clear, I’d have the same issue if John Tory were running and using his radio talk show to promote his campaign. It’s wrong.
As a media outlet, I also worry that it serves as a sort of clearinghouse for information about her campaign. Another Twitter user has been promoting Thompson’s campaign during office hours. While the Account holder states she is independent, her website/office/media company is located in the offices of Woman’s Post. All of this gives one the feeling that corporate entities are having an influence on Mrs. Thompson’s campaign.
Epilogue
Since I wrote the above piece I’ve had a few thoughts and there have been a few developments. I also had an extended argument – I won’t call it debate or discussion since it wasn’t really – on Twitter.
First, the argument; I made the mistake of Tweeting that having met George Smitherman and finding him very pleasant, I didn’t understand the furious moniker but ‘isn’t it appropriate to be angry with bureaucrats.’ Perhaps I missed a story along the way but I think the Furious George is a result of great political messaging and branding by the Ontario Tories and that’s unfortunate – both for George and for the public debate about Toronto’s future. Rather than discussing the merits of his potential Mayoralty (and so far, there’s been scant detail from George) people are discussing a personality trait. We’re told its Mr. Happy versus Mr. Angry (Rossi.)
The argument consisted of the person I was arguing with setting up straw dogs. Rage isn’t appropriate – I never actually said anything about rage. I said he was a nice guy. I asked whether anger wasn’t appropriate. Some Torontonians are quite angry about how the City is being run. And remember I said bureaucrats. The person then introduced working with others. Bureaucrats must take direction from politicians – that’s fundamental to democracy. So while I agree that it’s important to be civil, anger can appropriately be expressed at bureaucrats, particularly when an elderly Toronto Community Housing resident is evicted then dies of an infection, for instance.
When people normally cite that it’s important to work with others and build consensus, they are generally referring to relations with other politicians. Having worked at City Hall and having seen many City Councillors in various situations, there are some instances that would make any rational person angry – stupid things said, mischaracterizations, abuse of City Staff, suggestions of impossible policy etc. I’m thinking of Francis Nunziata as an example. Politics creates winners and losers and it is naïve to suggest that a non-partisan approach can always be successful. The US Health Care debacle is an example. Sometimes you have to play hardball just to get a middle-of-the-road compromise achieved.
The Mega-City has created such a dysfunctional City that often compromise on friendly terms is simply unachievable. Policies favouring a dense urban core that allows for sustainable active transportation for instance, including bike lanes is heresy for some suburban Councillors whose residents are largely car dependent. Tax policies favouring efficient use of properties over ones that favour location will enrage some citizens and as a result, their representatives. That’s politics. By definition it is the struggle for power and hence, it involves a lot of passion.
The Straw Dog here was that the Mega-City should be separated. That’s not something I’d necessarily argue for but it comes with intrinsic political problems, just as Canadian federalism does with huge differences in interest between the Oil Patch and downtown Toronto. You must therefore accept that there will be some dysfunction on Council. I’d suggest that those who do not understand this either tour the Mega-City or spend a day speaking with people from different parts of the City. I asked the arguer what experience he had at City Hall – not as a put-down (which he took it to be) but to assess his level of understanding of the level and cause of the dysfunction.
For the record, City Hall has a Code of Conduct for the Mayor and Members of City Council. Staff must be treated professionally and cannot be threatened with job loss. However, there is no shortage (I believe the number was 19) of former high-ranking bureaucrats who have been fired or driven out due to philosophical differences with Mayor Miller. It is not appropriate to ‘rage’ but the expression of anger is totally appropriate in some circumstances.
He insulted me – saying that any ‘management trainee’ knows this. I said it was City Hall and not The Gap. I guess I touched a sensitive nerve there as he took that personally but my point was simply that we are dealing in some cases with lives, in all cases with Taxpayer money (which is limited) and not simply how a shirt has been folded. I don’t know the individual or where he works but insulting him was not my intention. You cannot tell me that people don’t get ‘called on the carpet’ at the highest level of a multi-billion dollar private sector corporation.
Enough with that argument.
Now. Back to Twitter. A new group has formed called @voteTO based on the discussions on Twitter. A question was posed as to whether or not such a group can change an election. I do not believe so. I posted on Facebook that it takes offline political action to reach the vast majority of people not on Twitter and that those people on Social Media generally share a point of view. In the end, people will vote based on their beliefs as to how the City of Toronto should be run. Given the way my argument unfolded above, I further doubt that this group will have much success, unless it gets actively involved in campaigns and in spreading its messages to the broader community. But I love being proven wrong.
There seems to me to be a growing number of people don't believe that people are fully entitled to their own views and opinions about how a City or government should be run. I find it generally to be left-minded people that are in this group though those on the extreme right can be equally dismissive. However, this group is young, urban, hip and socially conscious. They may very well be right. However, unless they actually get out and knock on doors, employ traditional campaign methods, they are unlikely to achieve widespread success - but that's just my opinion (validated by former Trudeau Staffer Patrick Gossage.)
It’s certain that the Obama campaign used social media to energize volunteers and to coordinate the message. However polls appear to reveal when it came to Election Day many of the same voters came out as in previous elections. There was no mass movement of youth to the polls. Swing voters, tired of 8 years of Republican complacency, a drawn-out War on Terror and the lies that motivated it, apathy about John McCain and rejection of Sarah Palin by mainstream America are what in the end, gave Obama the victory. Many have said that a turnip could have won the election as the Democratic Candidate.
However, this is not to dismiss the role of social media in spreading the message of hope that accompanied President Obama’s campaign. Youth were clearly motivated to knock on doors. A cynical American public, disenfranchised from a government whose approval ratings are awful, often refuse to listen to those with the hope of youth in their eyes. However Obama may have over-reached in many of his concrete proposals for reform, of health care, of the tax-code, of the military’s don’t ask don’t tell policy, of the kind of capitalism that has created the largest economic divide since the Gilded Age, the campaign certainly used new media to get their message out.
Texts and e-mails sent from the campaign, many of which I received having signed up for them, constantly encouraged young Americans to take their country back. But there was also an important distinction that candidates and their campaign managers are wise to regard.
A tweet is a 140-character message broadcast to those that are following you. The Tweeting public, while large and growing, is clearly not the majority of people, nor the majority of motivated voters. That’s important to remember. It’s also important to note that most of the tweets from the Obama campaign, as well as the e-mails, led the recipient to a website with concrete policy positions spelled out in a fair degree of detail.
Looking at Toronto’s early municipal election campaign we can note a couple of divergent uses. While it’s early on, there are a number of early favoured candidates. Each have their own style and it’s interesting to note the differences.
Rocco Rossi appears to get it. George Smitherman is taking some time to eek out his positions but is certainly keeping us in the loop as to his daily activities. That’s good too. I feel for Sarah Thomson, who so far is the sole female candidate to have declared to run for Mayor. However, I have some criticism of her early tweeting. I’d include Stephen Feek but he appears unprepared; earlier this week he posted a link to his Twitter account where he announced that his campaign would start on February 1st. In Tweetspeak; Fail. Not a FTW (For the Win) move for someone with no name recognition. Candidates should be prepared to come out of the gate running the minute they announce they are running for Mayor, particularly those candidates that will not get mainstream coverage easily.
Giorgio Mammoliti has gotten some good press so far but that comes easily to a sitting City Councillor with a record of having lots to say, good or bad. His online profile is non-existent.
There are likely to be others. Other would-be candidates are either continuing a well-run and deep understanding of Twitter and Facebook – Adam Giambrone comes to mind here as a Councillor that has been using both mediums to his advantage for some time. I’d love to go on but to date that’s the limit of candidates using Twitter.
Speculation has it that Joe Pantalone and perhaps Shelley Carroll. Carroll is a sporadic Twitter user at best and while I love her as a person, she faces a tough challenge as Mayor Miller’s Budget Chief.
We have lots of talk so far about who will run and who won’t and only 11 declared candidates. That number will surely swell to 30-odd by September.
In such a wide-open race, which the media almost always narrows down to 2 front-runners, plus 3 second-tier candidates and 30-odd also-rans, the use of social media can be a powerful tool. But it also has its downfalls and shortcomings.
First, the 140-character message is much too short for anything other than bluster and rhetoric. If voters, even savvy online followers can’t dig deeper, the use of social media, in my opinion, can turn voters and potential advocates (Re-Tweeters) off.
Let’s first take the example of Sarah Thomson. Something tells me I may be discussing her campaign to a fairly high degree over the next few months. So let’s get one thing out of the way. I support more female representation in politics. However, just as no ‘gay’ candidate should be considered only on that basis, a woman candidate ought not to be considered simply because she is a female candidate. I think that’s playing a gender card that’s undeserved.
Today, one of her Tweets infuriated me to a degree. It said: “Reading city budget reports, blood boiling over the waste and audacity of our bureaucrats.” For a number of reasons I take issue with this Tweet.
First, there was no link to anything beyond that simple message. There was no link to the Budget report she was reading (they’re all available online.) Without any kind of context, the reader is supposed to just take at face value that there are reasons to be angry, that bureaucrats are audacious and waste taxpayer money. That’s easy enough to believe but is it true? No one likes taxes and everyone hates government waste and many assume that most tax dollars are wasted because there have been stories in the past about cases of waste. However, there have also been studies that show the City of Toronto is actually very efficiently run and simply faces a structural deficit.
So, this message is in essence an attempt to say – I’m angry as hell and I’m not going to take it any more. Why we’re supposed to be angry is not important, we just should be. Had there been some explanation of why Mrs. Thomson is angry, the rational reader might say, yes, you’ve uncovered some waste and audacity and I damn well agree with you. Instead, we’re left with populist rhetoric.
Mrs. Thomson doesn’t yet have a website – outside of her Woman’s Post blog (I’ll get to that in a minute) so there is no deeper explanation available. Is it waste because of unnecessary spending? Overstaffing? Inappropriate programming? Why? What is the waste? Is this a provincially mandated program or is it a discretionary program (the vast majority of City programs are provincially mandated.) If I don’t understand the underlying reasons why Ms. Thomson believes its waste or what in fact she believes at all. Where do you want to take our City? (I say our because other than the last 4 months, Toronto has been my home since 1998.)
I have not decided yet whom I will vote for but this kind of rhetoric turns me off. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Rob Ford constantly complains about City waste but rarely identifies any of it at Budget time.
If I look at Rocco Rossi’s use of Twitter and Facebook, I at least get a sense of where he’s heading. Rocco includes links to larger articles, asks readers to give feedback on his positions and has already put forward some concrete proposals.
Smitherman hasn’t said much of a concrete nature but I also know that he worked for Barbara Hall when she was Mayor of Toronto. I know he was frustrated during last year’s Municipal workers strike and organized litter clean-up events. He’s held office in Dalton McGuinty’s government and yes, he must dig out from under the eHealth scandal and shed the image of ‘Furious George.’ I’ve met George and he’s a nice guy. But he also gets stuff done and is the kind of personality needed for a Mayoral office in Toronto.
Similarly, Adam Giambrone is using Twitter and Facebook very well. We’ve always known where he is/was and he constantly posts about policy issues. While it tends to be light, his use of both mediums has always been democratic and open – lots of debate and even insults which are rarely removed. If you’re asking for openness and transparency, Adam pretty much puts it out there with his online presence.
I said I’d get back to Thomson’s use of her Woman’s Post page. My concern is that this corporate site is financially supported by Woman’s Post that Thomson (of that Thompson, the rich family) owns. As such, its use to promote her campaign amounts to a contravention of City Council’s ban on corporate donations to candidates. I believe this is a pretty clear, cut-and-dry case. There’s no mistaking it really – she has already suggested that people visit her site from her ThomsonforMayor Twitter account.
To be clear, I’d have the same issue if John Tory were running and using his radio talk show to promote his campaign. It’s wrong.
As a media outlet, I also worry that it serves as a sort of clearinghouse for information about her campaign. Another Twitter user has been promoting Thompson’s campaign during office hours. While the Account holder states she is independent, her website/office/media company is located in the offices of Woman’s Post. All of this gives one the feeling that corporate entities are having an influence on Mrs. Thompson’s campaign.
Epilogue
Since I wrote the above piece I’ve had a few thoughts and there have been a few developments. I also had an extended argument – I won’t call it debate or discussion since it wasn’t really – on Twitter.
First, the argument; I made the mistake of Tweeting that having met George Smitherman and finding him very pleasant, I didn’t understand the furious moniker but ‘isn’t it appropriate to be angry with bureaucrats.’ Perhaps I missed a story along the way but I think the Furious George is a result of great political messaging and branding by the Ontario Tories and that’s unfortunate – both for George and for the public debate about Toronto’s future. Rather than discussing the merits of his potential Mayoralty (and so far, there’s been scant detail from George) people are discussing a personality trait. We’re told its Mr. Happy versus Mr. Angry (Rossi.)
The argument consisted of the person I was arguing with setting up straw dogs. Rage isn’t appropriate – I never actually said anything about rage. I said he was a nice guy. I asked whether anger wasn’t appropriate. Some Torontonians are quite angry about how the City is being run. And remember I said bureaucrats. The person then introduced working with others. Bureaucrats must take direction from politicians – that’s fundamental to democracy. So while I agree that it’s important to be civil, anger can appropriately be expressed at bureaucrats, particularly when an elderly Toronto Community Housing resident is evicted then dies of an infection, for instance.
When people normally cite that it’s important to work with others and build consensus, they are generally referring to relations with other politicians. Having worked at City Hall and having seen many City Councillors in various situations, there are some instances that would make any rational person angry – stupid things said, mischaracterizations, abuse of City Staff, suggestions of impossible policy etc. I’m thinking of Francis Nunziata as an example. Politics creates winners and losers and it is naïve to suggest that a non-partisan approach can always be successful. The US Health Care debacle is an example. Sometimes you have to play hardball just to get a middle-of-the-road compromise achieved.
The Mega-City has created such a dysfunctional City that often compromise on friendly terms is simply unachievable. Policies favouring a dense urban core that allows for sustainable active transportation for instance, including bike lanes is heresy for some suburban Councillors whose residents are largely car dependent. Tax policies favouring efficient use of properties over ones that favour location will enrage some citizens and as a result, their representatives. That’s politics. By definition it is the struggle for power and hence, it involves a lot of passion.
The Straw Dog here was that the Mega-City should be separated. That’s not something I’d necessarily argue for but it comes with intrinsic political problems, just as Canadian federalism does with huge differences in interest between the Oil Patch and downtown Toronto. You must therefore accept that there will be some dysfunction on Council. I’d suggest that those who do not understand this either tour the Mega-City or spend a day speaking with people from different parts of the City. I asked the arguer what experience he had at City Hall – not as a put-down (which he took it to be) but to assess his level of understanding of the level and cause of the dysfunction.
For the record, City Hall has a Code of Conduct for the Mayor and Members of City Council. Staff must be treated professionally and cannot be threatened with job loss. However, there is no shortage (I believe the number was 19) of former high-ranking bureaucrats who have been fired or driven out due to philosophical differences with Mayor Miller. It is not appropriate to ‘rage’ but the expression of anger is totally appropriate in some circumstances.
He insulted me – saying that any ‘management trainee’ knows this. I said it was City Hall and not The Gap. I guess I touched a sensitive nerve there as he took that personally but my point was simply that we are dealing in some cases with lives, in all cases with Taxpayer money (which is limited) and not simply how a shirt has been folded. I don’t know the individual or where he works but insulting him was not my intention. You cannot tell me that people don’t get ‘called on the carpet’ at the highest level of a multi-billion dollar private sector corporation.
Enough with that argument.
Now. Back to Twitter. A new group has formed called @voteTO based on the discussions on Twitter. A question was posed as to whether or not such a group can change an election. I do not believe so. I posted on Facebook that it takes offline political action to reach the vast majority of people not on Twitter and that those people on Social Media generally share a point of view. In the end, people will vote based on their beliefs as to how the City of Toronto should be run. Given the way my argument unfolded above, I further doubt that this group will have much success, unless it gets actively involved in campaigns and in spreading its messages to the broader community. But I love being proven wrong.
There seems to me to be a growing number of people don't believe that people are fully entitled to their own views and opinions about how a City or government should be run. I find it generally to be left-minded people that are in this group though those on the extreme right can be equally dismissive. However, this group is young, urban, hip and socially conscious. They may very well be right. However, unless they actually get out and knock on doors, employ traditional campaign methods, they are unlikely to achieve widespread success - but that's just my opinion (validated by former Trudeau Staffer Patrick Gossage.)
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Change is constant
So....Last time I posted (It's Alive) I believed I was heading back to Toronto to work for Mayoral Candidate Glen Murray. How a few months can change things.
I'm now most likely heading back to Toronto to work for Toronto Centre Liberal Candidate Glen Murray. Glen's a personal friend and mentor and also a big fan of mine (they're out there here and there, lol.) I'm very excited for the opportunity. Most likely there will be a job to follow at Queen's Park but of course that's also reliant on the voters in Toronto Centre electing Glen to the office of MPP. I'm confident that will be the case but politics is a crazy business. The NDP appointed candidate is a worthy opponent and a long-time Street-nurse and homeless advocate. That said, Glen's record of creating affordable housing in Winnipeg should reduce some of that impact.
In the meantime, I continue to blog, to enjoy my time with my mother and father as mom undergoes treatment for Colon Cancer, including surgery that is scheduled for January 19th. We're all praying for her and I thank everyone for their encouragement and friendship during this trying time.
As I prepare to go back to work in politics a number of thoughts occur to me. First, I'm less convinced of any policy position than ever before. I've never been one to cling to dogma, other than a belief that reason should come before passion but that one should have a passion for reason - hence why I've always thought of myself as a Trudeau Liberal. I believe in a strong public sector and a social safety net. However I also know that small business creates the bulk of jobs in our economy. Lastly, I know full well that work in politics is not about my views but about the views of those I work for.
I also prepare to return with a better understanding of the challenges that people in our society face. When I had lots of money, when I was married to a wealthy family, I became less in-touch with the part of me that believes in giving people a hand up in hard times. Sometimes that also means giving a hand-out. It was easy to not consider those who had less when I had everything. Now that I have to build everything back up from scratch and get out of serious debt, I hope to maintain a perspective that not everyone has it as easy as I do. If I can be unemployed for 10 months, then logically there are many, many people in our society who face difficulty finding meaningful work.
Having lost many of my possessions (or at least living with them in boxes) I also know that I need much less to be happy and that I must find happiness in life, rather than in things. And I also know that I have to be better with my money and get out of debt as quickly as possible. Clothes don't make the man, they just make him look better!
That's all for now. I look forward to getting back into the swing of things. I look forward to having a drive to get up earlier and go to work rather than sleeping far too late and staying up far too late. I look forward to getting together with so many of the people I've met online over the last few months, to getting off the couch more often than I did before moving back and basically, to rebuilding a life of excitement, culture, friends and family.
OK. That's it for now. Peace out!
I'm now most likely heading back to Toronto to work for Toronto Centre Liberal Candidate Glen Murray. Glen's a personal friend and mentor and also a big fan of mine (they're out there here and there, lol.) I'm very excited for the opportunity. Most likely there will be a job to follow at Queen's Park but of course that's also reliant on the voters in Toronto Centre electing Glen to the office of MPP. I'm confident that will be the case but politics is a crazy business. The NDP appointed candidate is a worthy opponent and a long-time Street-nurse and homeless advocate. That said, Glen's record of creating affordable housing in Winnipeg should reduce some of that impact.
In the meantime, I continue to blog, to enjoy my time with my mother and father as mom undergoes treatment for Colon Cancer, including surgery that is scheduled for January 19th. We're all praying for her and I thank everyone for their encouragement and friendship during this trying time.
As I prepare to go back to work in politics a number of thoughts occur to me. First, I'm less convinced of any policy position than ever before. I've never been one to cling to dogma, other than a belief that reason should come before passion but that one should have a passion for reason - hence why I've always thought of myself as a Trudeau Liberal. I believe in a strong public sector and a social safety net. However I also know that small business creates the bulk of jobs in our economy. Lastly, I know full well that work in politics is not about my views but about the views of those I work for.
I also prepare to return with a better understanding of the challenges that people in our society face. When I had lots of money, when I was married to a wealthy family, I became less in-touch with the part of me that believes in giving people a hand up in hard times. Sometimes that also means giving a hand-out. It was easy to not consider those who had less when I had everything. Now that I have to build everything back up from scratch and get out of serious debt, I hope to maintain a perspective that not everyone has it as easy as I do. If I can be unemployed for 10 months, then logically there are many, many people in our society who face difficulty finding meaningful work.
Having lost many of my possessions (or at least living with them in boxes) I also know that I need much less to be happy and that I must find happiness in life, rather than in things. And I also know that I have to be better with my money and get out of debt as quickly as possible. Clothes don't make the man, they just make him look better!
That's all for now. I look forward to getting back into the swing of things. I look forward to having a drive to get up earlier and go to work rather than sleeping far too late and staying up far too late. I look forward to getting together with so many of the people I've met online over the last few months, to getting off the couch more often than I did before moving back and basically, to rebuilding a life of excitement, culture, friends and family.
OK. That's it for now. Peace out!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
It's Alive!!!
Okay.
So this blog died for a bit while I've been living in London, my hometown. I wrote a few blog posts there which you might want to check out to see my thoughts about London's Planning and Works Departments.
Now it appears that I will be moving back to Toronto to work on the Mayoral Campaign of Glen R Murray, should he decide to run. Glen's a fantastic and dynamic individual who I got to know during my work with Skymeter Corporation. He is a big believer in getting the consent of those who are active in the community as he sees community partnerships as a big part of making a successful City. Glen's the former Mayor of Winnipeg and current CEO of the Canadian Urban Institute, a do-tank that works on Urban Issues in Canada and in developing nations.
Glen and I have hit it off quite well. He has seen me as someone who requires a big challenge and if you read previous blogs you may see what he has seen (without having read my blog which at times gets way too introspective.)
I'm happy to say that I have recovered from my momentary loss of self. I have been doing a ton of reading and self-improvement work - you can also check my 3rd blog (actually 4th) www.jppersonalwellness.blogspot.com .
Glen has very interesting ideas about what Toronto needs in order to grow out of the financial mess it finds itself in. He does not have any illusions about the difficult job that lays ahead of him and will challenge Torontonians to think bigger about their place in a growing Global City that must continue to attract and enable the Creative Class in order to thrive at the heart of Canada's economic success.
I am back. With a whole new lease on life, a sense of purpose that comes from within, not based on any outside expectations and a true sense of happiness!
NAMASTE!!!
So this blog died for a bit while I've been living in London, my hometown. I wrote a few blog posts there which you might want to check out to see my thoughts about London's Planning and Works Departments.
Now it appears that I will be moving back to Toronto to work on the Mayoral Campaign of Glen R Murray, should he decide to run. Glen's a fantastic and dynamic individual who I got to know during my work with Skymeter Corporation. He is a big believer in getting the consent of those who are active in the community as he sees community partnerships as a big part of making a successful City. Glen's the former Mayor of Winnipeg and current CEO of the Canadian Urban Institute, a do-tank that works on Urban Issues in Canada and in developing nations.
Glen and I have hit it off quite well. He has seen me as someone who requires a big challenge and if you read previous blogs you may see what he has seen (without having read my blog which at times gets way too introspective.)
I'm happy to say that I have recovered from my momentary loss of self. I have been doing a ton of reading and self-improvement work - you can also check my 3rd blog (actually 4th) www.jppersonalwellness.blogspot.com .
Glen has very interesting ideas about what Toronto needs in order to grow out of the financial mess it finds itself in. He does not have any illusions about the difficult job that lays ahead of him and will challenge Torontonians to think bigger about their place in a growing Global City that must continue to attract and enable the Creative Class in order to thrive at the heart of Canada's economic success.
I am back. With a whole new lease on life, a sense of purpose that comes from within, not based on any outside expectations and a true sense of happiness!
NAMASTE!!!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Dead
This blog is now dead. Follow me at citythinkLondon if you are interested in similar City-focused issues but in a slightly more suburban context.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A crisis or an awakening?
So...most (all 3) of my followers, lol, will have seen me go through some interesting things of late. I'm not sure what it all means at the moment and I'm not exactly sure what is on the other end of it. I am, at a bit of a loss at the moment as to where my life is headed and what it all means, what I should be doing with my life and whether or not I'm truly happy with my life.
Let's back up. Waaaay back. Waaaay back. 15 years ago, (holy crap) in 1992/3, I started a 5-year stint at CHRW, Radio Western. I started volunteering around the station, as most new volunteers do but quickly found myself thrown into a show on Friday mornings from 7am to 10am. 3 Hours of morning drive-time and I had a pretty cool co-host for a while. The show was called the Break-a-Dawn show, owing to both the early start and to the then fairly recently released song by De La Soul, which became the theme.
I quickly grabbed the reigns from the original host and as I recall, within a few months the show was mine as he left for summer vacation. Can't even remember his name, damn. I wasn't totally on my own, new hosts would come in, trainees and it became a bit of an interesting rotating lineup of cohosts, some of whom would go on to host their own shows. James Rocci was Program Director under long-time Station Director Mario Circelli (still one of my best friends and mentors.) Eventually, I was given a prized Wednesday afternoon 3-6 slot and that started Mullethead's Revenge!
For almost 3 years, Sean Mayville and I would have a blast, play countless 2 and 3 minute songs, rarely interrupting sets to give out the names of what we'd played. I am pretty sure we developed a pretty loyal following of listeners and were able to present a couple of shows along the way - Trigger Happy/Lagwagon being a pretty cool one. We did some pretty wicked interviews too; New Bomb Turks, Judah Bauer from Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (and 20 Miles), Face to Face, Ten Foot Pole and countless Canadian bands among others. Unfortunately because, I suppose I was a good interviewer and host, we would get some of the major label bands - I still remember making fun of Zuckerbaby! lol
It all culiminated with Warped Tour '98. CHRW was able to co-present the show or at least have a presence under the lame local Modern Rock station that had recently discovered Pop-punk (Blink 182 was in the line-up.) I was able to finagle a Press pass for me and a photographer's pass for my then fiance, now ex-wife Gillian who was just learning to take good photo's with a new SLR. I still have the best photos on my wall - Mike Ness of Social D, Fletcher from Pennywise, Joey Cape of Lagwagon, Dicky Barrett of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones...awesome black and whites.
At any rate and not to digress to far, it was my goal to enter the Music Industry using the connections I had developed at CHRW as Music and Promotions Director. Unfortunately it quickly became apparent that the Music industry was going through some pretty major changes and my lack of retail experience definitely didn't help my chances.
I took my time with University. I took 2 years off in the middle, just to live and experience life away from home, even if it was in my own hometown. Getting out of the house was a big step for me but also meant that I would be taking time off as I had no money (a common theme it appears.) I had a blast in those two years, prior to returning and completing my degree and taking the job at CHRW. I cooked in restaurants in the tri-bar area, for some reason never able to get a serving gig. I was a good cook though and restaurant managers are loathe to give up good cooks to the floor. Plus I had attitude (another common them.)
So...once I got the gig at RW, I quit the cooking gig and lived with Gillian who'd eventually become my fiance during our last year in London in '98. Prior to that though, I had lived a pretty meek existence. I have never been a saver, always a spender, something I come to quite naturally from my own family history. Gillian was from a wealthy family though and so..things got much better for me financially. I was also sucked-in. My ex Father-in-law was a highly successful Lawyer, negotiating Mining deals in Venezuela among other things. The hair-dying stopped, I studied hard, got better grades and decided it was time (at 26) to grow up! Oh what a mistake. I don't regret it, other than to say that I wonder if Gillian and I had taken more time whether we'd still be together or whether we would have avoided the marriage thing altogether. Bygones.
So we moved to Toronto in the fall of 98. In fact, we moved to Toronto the weekend before we got married. That was a pretty crazy summer but Jill was never one to wait for what she wanted. We had been sweethearts in High School, broken up, gone out during University, broken up again and then reunited when she moved back from McGill. It seemed the logical thing when getting back together to go ahead and get married. So on New Year's Eve, 1998, Gillian said "Let's get married this year." An hour later, in the square behind Centennial Hall, I got down on one knee and asked her. There was no ring because we didn't really feel we needed one. I hadn't asked her father for permission as I was a punk and didn't think I needed to. Nowadays I wonder about all these things. I do so without regret but I still wonder if things could have been different.
Once in Toronto, I worked at Sam The Record Man on Yonge Street until I got some work at Canuck Creations doing camera-work for classic animation line tests. It was very cool and I worked with friends who I'd met through their band, the Mercurymen. I screwed some stuff up along the way though and without going into details (I was working on computers though, hint, hint) I got into a bit of an embarrassing situation that I do regret to this day. I was immature, little town boy in the big City and things just started to get away from me. I wasn't a great husband.
I then got a gig at Toronto City Hall with a City Councillor through my friend Neil who remains a very good friend and someone I can always count on for support and friendship. Neil is salt-of-the-earth. I did very well at City Hall, finally finding a challenging job that rewarded me well and allowed me to grow as a political scientist and as an employable individual, or so I thought. I lasted 7 years in City politics before the attitudes of the public finally pushed me out. There really are far too many whiney Nimby's in this City and not enough who stand-up for the poor and/or tenants and for those who someday wish to own property.
After that and a struggle to find work, I eventually landed at Skymeter Corporation where I also enjoyed some pretty major growth, gaining new skills and learning under several mentors, Bern Grush and JD Hassan chief among those. I was sent all over North America to sell the concept of GPS-tolling as developed by Skymeter. The job was incredible, I met amazing and brilliant people, made new contacts and friends and learned a great deal about transportation. Unfortunately, in August 2008, at my own advice, I was laid-off due to slow market development and lack of funding for Skymeter's work elsewhere.
Since then I've bounced around and been in discussions with 3 different employers that just recently came crashing to a halt. I've pursued all 3, none have worked. I was offered a position in Maryland leading Sales and Marketing for another new technology firm but was precluded from taking the position by the arduous US Visa system. The third potential employer just went weird and I'm still lost as to why.
After months of talking, the CEO asked me "Why are you alive? What are you here to do?" This made it pretty clear that he didn't feel, after 3 separate invitations to apply/join his organization, that I was a good fit...or something? The disturbing part is that I would be very happy doing the work that we had discussed as it involved Skymeter - which matched my skills with my passions. Fuckin' 'Ell!
So...left with that...I said Fuck it and started to look for other work but at the same time, his question stung me. What am I here to do? Am I really happy? For a week and a half I have struggled with this question. I wonder if its too esoteric. I wonder if I shouldn't just ignore it and continue to search for a paying gig that will, well, pay the bills regardless of my happiness with the job. I can't afford this either - I'm about 2 weeks from personal bankruptcy and I'm living on borrowed time and borrowed money. So much that my personal debt is now higher than it's ever been - around 30 Grand in total.
So...I am lost. That's why I bleached my head again I think. I wanted to just give up for a week on the job hunt. I came home to London to sort things out. I'm behind an eight ball though, damned if I don't get a job and not sure how I'll ever move my stuff anywhere if I can't even pay my rent.
The question I now face is....Do I pursue gigs that my skills apply to and that can earn me some coin while I get sorted. Is it Toronto or should I move to London to be closer to family and perhaps to get back into some of the activities that made me happy and healthy in the past? Or do I just plug away? On a personal note, I am incredibly lonely in Toronto. I often cry. I love Toronto but wonder if like many relationships, it's just not meant to be? I also met a fabulous woman recently and was ready to dive head first into love. I was totally smitten. Then she called it off.
So now...what do I do? Do I keep the bleached head, which seems to make me very happy. Do I return to Toronto, shave the head, put my suit on and charge downtown looking for work. Do I go after any work? Do I hold-out for 'the right job' in the face of personal bankruptcy? I know only I can answer these questions but I really have no clue. Am I a regular joe who has over-achieved or a brilliant person who has under-achieved? Where do I find a partner? lol
I need help, advice, a mentor or 16 perhaps. Comments more than welcome! More on this whole process to follow but this is already a lengthy post and I'm fading fast.
Let's back up. Waaaay back. Waaaay back. 15 years ago, (holy crap) in 1992/3, I started a 5-year stint at CHRW, Radio Western. I started volunteering around the station, as most new volunteers do but quickly found myself thrown into a show on Friday mornings from 7am to 10am. 3 Hours of morning drive-time and I had a pretty cool co-host for a while. The show was called the Break-a-Dawn show, owing to both the early start and to the then fairly recently released song by De La Soul, which became the theme.
I quickly grabbed the reigns from the original host and as I recall, within a few months the show was mine as he left for summer vacation. Can't even remember his name, damn. I wasn't totally on my own, new hosts would come in, trainees and it became a bit of an interesting rotating lineup of cohosts, some of whom would go on to host their own shows. James Rocci was Program Director under long-time Station Director Mario Circelli (still one of my best friends and mentors.) Eventually, I was given a prized Wednesday afternoon 3-6 slot and that started Mullethead's Revenge!
For almost 3 years, Sean Mayville and I would have a blast, play countless 2 and 3 minute songs, rarely interrupting sets to give out the names of what we'd played. I am pretty sure we developed a pretty loyal following of listeners and were able to present a couple of shows along the way - Trigger Happy/Lagwagon being a pretty cool one. We did some pretty wicked interviews too; New Bomb Turks, Judah Bauer from Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (and 20 Miles), Face to Face, Ten Foot Pole and countless Canadian bands among others. Unfortunately because, I suppose I was a good interviewer and host, we would get some of the major label bands - I still remember making fun of Zuckerbaby! lol
It all culiminated with Warped Tour '98. CHRW was able to co-present the show or at least have a presence under the lame local Modern Rock station that had recently discovered Pop-punk (Blink 182 was in the line-up.) I was able to finagle a Press pass for me and a photographer's pass for my then fiance, now ex-wife Gillian who was just learning to take good photo's with a new SLR. I still have the best photos on my wall - Mike Ness of Social D, Fletcher from Pennywise, Joey Cape of Lagwagon, Dicky Barrett of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones...awesome black and whites.
At any rate and not to digress to far, it was my goal to enter the Music Industry using the connections I had developed at CHRW as Music and Promotions Director. Unfortunately it quickly became apparent that the Music industry was going through some pretty major changes and my lack of retail experience definitely didn't help my chances.
I took my time with University. I took 2 years off in the middle, just to live and experience life away from home, even if it was in my own hometown. Getting out of the house was a big step for me but also meant that I would be taking time off as I had no money (a common theme it appears.) I had a blast in those two years, prior to returning and completing my degree and taking the job at CHRW. I cooked in restaurants in the tri-bar area, for some reason never able to get a serving gig. I was a good cook though and restaurant managers are loathe to give up good cooks to the floor. Plus I had attitude (another common them.)
So...once I got the gig at RW, I quit the cooking gig and lived with Gillian who'd eventually become my fiance during our last year in London in '98. Prior to that though, I had lived a pretty meek existence. I have never been a saver, always a spender, something I come to quite naturally from my own family history. Gillian was from a wealthy family though and so..things got much better for me financially. I was also sucked-in. My ex Father-in-law was a highly successful Lawyer, negotiating Mining deals in Venezuela among other things. The hair-dying stopped, I studied hard, got better grades and decided it was time (at 26) to grow up! Oh what a mistake. I don't regret it, other than to say that I wonder if Gillian and I had taken more time whether we'd still be together or whether we would have avoided the marriage thing altogether. Bygones.
So we moved to Toronto in the fall of 98. In fact, we moved to Toronto the weekend before we got married. That was a pretty crazy summer but Jill was never one to wait for what she wanted. We had been sweethearts in High School, broken up, gone out during University, broken up again and then reunited when she moved back from McGill. It seemed the logical thing when getting back together to go ahead and get married. So on New Year's Eve, 1998, Gillian said "Let's get married this year." An hour later, in the square behind Centennial Hall, I got down on one knee and asked her. There was no ring because we didn't really feel we needed one. I hadn't asked her father for permission as I was a punk and didn't think I needed to. Nowadays I wonder about all these things. I do so without regret but I still wonder if things could have been different.
Once in Toronto, I worked at Sam The Record Man on Yonge Street until I got some work at Canuck Creations doing camera-work for classic animation line tests. It was very cool and I worked with friends who I'd met through their band, the Mercurymen. I screwed some stuff up along the way though and without going into details (I was working on computers though, hint, hint) I got into a bit of an embarrassing situation that I do regret to this day. I was immature, little town boy in the big City and things just started to get away from me. I wasn't a great husband.
I then got a gig at Toronto City Hall with a City Councillor through my friend Neil who remains a very good friend and someone I can always count on for support and friendship. Neil is salt-of-the-earth. I did very well at City Hall, finally finding a challenging job that rewarded me well and allowed me to grow as a political scientist and as an employable individual, or so I thought. I lasted 7 years in City politics before the attitudes of the public finally pushed me out. There really are far too many whiney Nimby's in this City and not enough who stand-up for the poor and/or tenants and for those who someday wish to own property.
After that and a struggle to find work, I eventually landed at Skymeter Corporation where I also enjoyed some pretty major growth, gaining new skills and learning under several mentors, Bern Grush and JD Hassan chief among those. I was sent all over North America to sell the concept of GPS-tolling as developed by Skymeter. The job was incredible, I met amazing and brilliant people, made new contacts and friends and learned a great deal about transportation. Unfortunately, in August 2008, at my own advice, I was laid-off due to slow market development and lack of funding for Skymeter's work elsewhere.
Since then I've bounced around and been in discussions with 3 different employers that just recently came crashing to a halt. I've pursued all 3, none have worked. I was offered a position in Maryland leading Sales and Marketing for another new technology firm but was precluded from taking the position by the arduous US Visa system. The third potential employer just went weird and I'm still lost as to why.
After months of talking, the CEO asked me "Why are you alive? What are you here to do?" This made it pretty clear that he didn't feel, after 3 separate invitations to apply/join his organization, that I was a good fit...or something? The disturbing part is that I would be very happy doing the work that we had discussed as it involved Skymeter - which matched my skills with my passions. Fuckin' 'Ell!
So...left with that...I said Fuck it and started to look for other work but at the same time, his question stung me. What am I here to do? Am I really happy? For a week and a half I have struggled with this question. I wonder if its too esoteric. I wonder if I shouldn't just ignore it and continue to search for a paying gig that will, well, pay the bills regardless of my happiness with the job. I can't afford this either - I'm about 2 weeks from personal bankruptcy and I'm living on borrowed time and borrowed money. So much that my personal debt is now higher than it's ever been - around 30 Grand in total.
So...I am lost. That's why I bleached my head again I think. I wanted to just give up for a week on the job hunt. I came home to London to sort things out. I'm behind an eight ball though, damned if I don't get a job and not sure how I'll ever move my stuff anywhere if I can't even pay my rent.
The question I now face is....Do I pursue gigs that my skills apply to and that can earn me some coin while I get sorted. Is it Toronto or should I move to London to be closer to family and perhaps to get back into some of the activities that made me happy and healthy in the past? Or do I just plug away? On a personal note, I am incredibly lonely in Toronto. I often cry. I love Toronto but wonder if like many relationships, it's just not meant to be? I also met a fabulous woman recently and was ready to dive head first into love. I was totally smitten. Then she called it off.
So now...what do I do? Do I keep the bleached head, which seems to make me very happy. Do I return to Toronto, shave the head, put my suit on and charge downtown looking for work. Do I go after any work? Do I hold-out for 'the right job' in the face of personal bankruptcy? I know only I can answer these questions but I really have no clue. Am I a regular joe who has over-achieved or a brilliant person who has under-achieved? Where do I find a partner? lol
I need help, advice, a mentor or 16 perhaps. Comments more than welcome! More on this whole process to follow but this is already a lengthy post and I'm fading fast.
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